Darque Tan

Ummm 5:36PM..pmsy..hungover…tired…dirty and overall very unworked out. This week I just decided I was going to do absolutely nothing to make myself feel any prettier or healthier. I casually just ate a burrito bowl and mixed so much guacamole and sour cream together that it turned into a little soup, which was disgusting? I had no issues as I continued to scarf it down.

Yesterday was an interesting day- I went tanning. Fun fact about me is that I AM OBSESSED WITH TANNING. I love to roast in the tanning bed and sweat all of my toxins out without a care in the world. Not even concerned that it’s horrifically bad for me. Yesterday was an entirely new experience for me…once I emerged from the bed, I had a full on impromptu dance off between me and myself in the mirror…to 90’s USHER? Just to paint this picture for you: it was FULL FOREHEAD TO KNEE motion with hair flips and a full impression of Britney in “I’m a slave for you” Minus the abs…no shame-just a girl having  a good time. Until it hit me? and quite pathetically I must admit? I thought to myself ..”what if there is a camera in here?” and somebody recognizes that I’m that loud girl from that new show on that E! network?…I can’t be dancing alone to myself in THE MIRROR…this video could potentially go viral? Obviously before you all tell me to relax…I told myself to relax and then I just sort of scurried out of there with my socks in my hand….


  1. Traci   •  

    The worst thing about tanning is obviously the skin cancer thing … but even if you are lucky and don’t get cancer, it’s pretty much a sure thing you’ll win second prize: Tons of WRINKLES and SAGGING sun damaged skin. You don’t want to be one of those face-lift nightmare old ladies that lunch at the Polo Lounge, do you? Just something to think about. :)

    • rachel   •  

      who cares if you get wrinkles? you can just buy new skin

      • Monica   •  

        Oh, my God. hahahhaha.

  2. Gloria   •  

    Proud to say I’ve been a reader from the very beginning (yup, way back when) and it’s pretty damn cool to see everything you’ve talked about on here come to life on tv, including Susan’s accent. Plus we are the same age and I live in SoCal too. Hope your hangover goes away, keep living the dream

  3. Samantha   •  

    I guess the main point of laying in the tanning bed is to get a tan…duh. However, if you are interested in sweating out toxins and feeling amazing, go sit in the dry sauna. It might feel like you are dying at first but I promise you will get addicted! I sit in the sauna for at least 20 min and up to 40 min at a time. It will help you lean out and sweat out nasty salt and toxins. yay!

  4. LISAAAH   •  

    For a girl that tries not to smile at strangers because you don’t want to waste the collagen you have left, please tell me you don’t tan your face. :). #saynotoprematurewrinkles

  5. @richkidsofbeverlyhills (Instagram)   •  

    Hahaha! This is the funniest thing I have heard all day. Love your blog!

    • @richkidsofbeverlyhillsfans (Instagram)   •  

      Whoops wrong name but oh well

  6. Concerned Reader   •  

    Stop trying to masquerade as a “funny” girl. There is absolutely nothing funny about you. The fact that you think you are even remotely amusing is depressing. I think it is funny that you want to be funny. People who are actually entertaining don’t put FUNNY as their twitter tag line. You know that your strength is not in your beauty, and it sure as shit won’t be in any intellectual pursuit.

    Self-deprecation is not humor; you act as though we should think you are ridiculous for being insecure (like omg GURL UR NOT FAT UR JUST CRAY!), but you’re just insecure.

    You seem smarter than you act, but you also seem like a genuinely vapid and useless human being. I know that is the point, but that is a sad point to want to make on national television. At least your costar is blatantly retarded and unaware of this fact.

    To reiterate, you’re not funny (or witty, or cute) or intelligent or beautiful. You’re rich. Your parents ruined you.

    • None-ya   •  

      Fuck off bitch! You’re just a jealous ugly bitch that likes to cyber thug on someone who is clearly got a lot going for herself! Get a life you ugly bitch! Stupid CUNT!!

    • Mediator   •  

      Look you tearing her down for her fun lifestyle is not going to make yours any better. She has the money so she might as well enjoy it! I think she is very witty and she knows who she is and she isn’t planning on hiding it and I think that’s fabulous. Also it is sickening to me that you would call someone a vapid and useless human being. NO ONE is useless. Everyone deserves at least that bit of respect. Finally, it seems to me that she supports a number of charities and she has a unique look that she is confident in. Who wants to be average? No one. So just think before putting others down. She’s rocking her lifestyle and being REAL. I mean her openly poking fun at how she danced in the mirror in public shows she’s not afraid of who she is so why should you or anyone else be? Just some food for thought.

  7. Jennifer Wang   •  

    Hi Morgan,
    Although you really don’t need to do anything to make yourself prettier, you should definitely be taking care of your skin!!! A great skincare regimen is really important. I just signed up to sell Rodan+Fields (makers of Proactiv). You would be an awesome candidate to use and sell the products!!! :) they have a 60 day money back guarantee!


    Before and after

    My link to buy! Happy shopping! please spread the word!!! http://jwang.myrandf.com/

  8. lu stevenson   •  

    You are a rich kid and spend money. What do you do with your life that makes a difference? What are your accomplishments?

    On your show you take selfies, spend money (that you didn’t earn), look at yourself and worry about what to wear, etc…At 26 years old, don’t you feel like you should be contributing to society in some way?

    Your life may be filled with “material stuff” but it seems so superficial and empty…26 years old and no career?

    Doesn’t it bother you?

  9. Jp   •  

    Your boobs are amaze!! Like , If I were single I’d probably put in work… So sexy

  10. Lee   •  

    What happened to your blog between 2010 and 2013? Jw.. :-p

  11. Brianna   •  

    90’s Usher?! YOU GOT IT YOU GOT IT BAD, GIRL.

    Morgan – You’re awesome. Love the show, love you and your ridiculous comments and self-degrading humor. As a twenty-something who has learned to give zero fux about what anybody thinks, I just can’t get enough of you and Dorothy. Keep doing you and one day you’ll be on top (not that you already aren’t) screaming MF never loved us, remember!?

    Peace, love and birth control xoxo

  12. Sophia   •  

    I am in LOVE with your personality! I can so relate to you!! Girl you’re my fave!

  13. Darci   •  

    Love the blog. Just started reading bcuz of the show, which is quite entertaining I must add! Thanks for exposing your life to us, I appreciate seeing so many Birkins and Chanels & watching people live a life I’ve never personally seen. & If your family has blessed you with a wealthy lifestyle, live it! Don’t be ashamed, because we all know that the kids complaining would live just as lavishly as you do if they had the opportunity!

  14. akhademi1   •  

    Just watched the first episode of the show, you are too funny girl !! Yes your face looks totally skinny :) I had a quick question if you don’t mind sharing. My hubby, baby & I will be heading to Sofitel L.A. this Thursday-Sunday. Hubby will be in a Medical Conference all day, so baby & I need to find some awesome places for Breakfast & Lunch..I would really appreciate any recommendations. My son is 2.5 years old. Thank you! You rock 😉

  15. Stefani   •  

    I really enjoy the show at this point. You girls are fun & full of energy, which is always a fabulous way to live life….no worries, just smile through the adventure! I do think the outrageous spending is a lil much, but it’s not for me to judge…ever! I guess if your fortunate enough then enjoy however you can. Obviously your going to have those who feel it necessary to spout out their negative opinion which in no way should you allow them to effect you. They’re cleary miserable & are in need of the negative feedback/attention from any angle they can receive it. Neither yourself or anyone else should entertain those with a reply, it’s just unnecessary useless negative energy. Keep enjoying yourself ladies the best way you know how… :)

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  17. Makenzie   •  

    Haha I have a dance off all the time with the tanning bed mirrors, it’s always the good songs come on right when the roast ends. Glad I’m not the only one :)

  18. Daisy   •  

    Omg i love your blog like i mean i only started reading after the first episode of the show but i still love it.

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  20. Hanna   •  

    Bahahahahahahahah. That just made my night :)

  21. Erica   •  

    Hey! a lot of the time you put a question mark (?) where there should be either an exclamation mark (!) or a period(.). other than that i loveee ur blog girl keep it up

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