MOMMY on EEE

Can’t keep her little model hands offff meee…

I guess after years of telling people they should pay you to use your personality…it eventually happens?? I hope that last sentence would be classified under “subtle” as I can’t continue on the way I REALLY WANT TO.  SO, a  few things have happened since May 7th? And what better time to tell you all about my summer than at 5:10 on September the 28th. Number one being:  I was lucky enough to see Joan Rivers LIVE with my most Jewish friend Samantha, her mother, Sunny and my most un- jewish MOTHER Susan. Yep, just three chosen ladies and a Swiss-German went to experience all that is Joan. 80 years and OH so on point. I HIGHLY suggest if she is ever to be in your hometown doing any form of speaking in front of people…GO.  Now that we’re on the topic of Samantha, I did receive a very interesting phone call sometime last week that went something like this: “YO” “hi” ” Were you the one that told me your period was out of control when you took plan-B?” “I don’t remember, maybe?” “Oh, well, Morgan it all of a sudden became me virginal, in 1875.

And in that moment, It reaffirmed JUST WHY WE ARE BEST FRIENDS. I should probably mention that it  is now 5:41 and this post has just been painful for me to write. I am counting down the seconds until 6 pm so that bottle of red wine can be ripped open and I can remember all of the funny things that I had planned to share with you.  I do want to take a moment to discuss what really has been weighing heavily on my mind. MY SPIN CLASS. NOW, I’m sure many of you are really fucking trendy and you spin, a lot, like me, and all of my friends but like…am I missing something? This isn’t something that we need to be taking quite so seriously.. LADIES? I mean we’re just coming to sweat off the booze from the night before, the bikes don’t actually move… you can smile and say hi? It’s not going to break your warm up concentration? Which automatically brings me to my next thought as they are rapidly firing in now.. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WARMING UP????? THE CLASS IS GOING TO START AND IT’S GOING TO BE HOT AND SWEATY BECAUSE OF THE FAT FUCK NEXT TO YOU anyway, LET’S JUST RELAX. Like I’m really glad you’re sprinting at rapid fire speed and you’re so pumped about it ? but let’s be real…you probably don’t have plans later…..

On that note- BIG THINGS..BIG THINGS- #SF

1 Comment
  • N.awsome.N
    February 18, 2014

    you are the best blogger ever they need to give you a whole magazine for yourself you are awesome yolo

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